I saw me standing in a dark corridor. In front of me was Jesus. He looked at me very calmly. As I looked over his right shoulder, I saw a door standing open. Out of that room came a hideous smell. It smelled like death , pain, fear and the most horrible thing you could imagine.
I panicked and wanted to run. "Fear not, my Kerstin, "said Jesus," would you go with me?" He pointed to that door and I screamed: "NOOOOOO, Jesus are you nuts?????? I won't go near that door, near that room!"
In my mind, thousands of thoughts ran back and forth: Well has Jesus ever let you down? No. Has he been mean to you in any way? No. Well, then go with him and trust. So I did and I thought I should do it quickly so I would not change my mind out of this immense fear that I sensed.
We came to that room and the smell was nearly unbearable, I felt my gag reflex and my whole body revolted. I wanted to run away, run as fast as I could to a place as furthest away possible. Jesus took my hand and we entered the room.
To my right I saw a carcass- that is where the hidous smell was coming from. We walked past that and Jesus sat me on a white hospital bed right across from that carcass. We both sat there and I struggled with the smell, with the strong urge to run and the panic that had taken hold of me.
As I looked at that carcass, I realized that the carcass was ME. I was in a deep shock and did not know what to do. Jesus sat down right beside me, on the left side of me; he took my left hand into his and put my head on his shoulder. Then he said the following:
"Kerstin, do not be afraid, what you see in front of you is only an echo of the pain, the fear and the death that has happened to you. It is not real. I am real, squeeze my hand! I need you to stay in the pain of your wounds a little bit longer, so I can fully take this pain away from you. It is part of my healing that you need to feel it and not run away or fight it away. Stay with me and trust me, I AM HERE WITH YOU!"
Wow, I suddenly found myself back i the worship service, totally
amazed for Jesus had just shown me how HIS healing ministry works and how much I
just want to run away as soon as I encounter pain.This I take as the foundation of the healing ministry that God has put on my heart. It is about HIm and how He can help us to deal with our wounds, the wounds from our past and all the hard stuff, the death inside of us.May Life come forth and may Healing begin in Jesus' matchless name!!!!!
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